Apologies

I am apologetic for all the wrong I have done,
All the pain I have caused you,
But one thing I will never be sorry for,
is the fact that I am imperfect.

Farewell

All that is left is goodbye,

And a bucket full of emptiness

Reflected in the pool of tears,

That drowns our forgotten memories,

That drowns our promise of forever.

Say

I have a lot to say, but no words to say it with.

Art.

You seem to have perfected the art of tearing my world apart.

Games.

I am no longer a pawn in your game,
everything is not going to remain the same,
your stench of fear,
has caused so many tears,
my heart broke into pieces,
as it followed your wishes,
My soul bound in chains,
Chains of your torturous pain,
The key hidden under your tongue,
with millions of words unsung.
They will come upon you one gloomy day,
and take you down with the games you play.

Music.

The reason we say music speaks to us is not because of the remorse or understanding of the pain or happiness we experience, but because it is a whole other world that sounds a lot like our own.

.

It was a typical story. The girl felt beautiful twirling with confidence. She felt like a princess. Her heart eager for someone to come capture. Typical. Their words began to echo in her mind. The twirling stopped. Her heart waiting to be captured was under siege. It battled pain, it battled the whispers, it built walls, it shot back on occasion. The heart left for capture was disintegrating into nothingness. Reflections became enemies.Once upon time, there was a princess who learned that happy ever after never did exist.Especially for a girl like her.

Afraid.

I am not afraid to take the jump,

oh no,

I am afraid that you might end up soaring through the sky,

and I will just end up alone, falling.

Gravity.

We are all bound to fall.
It's gravity.

Difference.

Tears, they tell ugly stories, I have millions to shed, you have none.
Hearts are difficult to unchain, you have the key to yours, I lost mine in the sand.
Hope, a dream I hold close, a dream you lost.
Smiles, expressions you are eager to give but difficult for me to give.
Happiness, a reality in your eyes a figment of imagination in mine.
Forever, a word I can simply define but remains undefined to you.
Love, an existing emotion in your heart, an emotion that breaks mine.
The power of friendship lays in our difference.

Let's fall instead.

People constantly dare you to fly whenever you are distraught about losing the perfect scene you envisioned in slumber, they tell you to fly away and seize your dreams surrounded by the stars, to become the somebody you want to be. What if people dared you to fall? To let it all go and just free fall onto the dusty ground, would you dare to fall? Would you give up all your dreams? We become somebody in our best moments but we become ourselves in our toughest times. The moment the color in our lives begin to fade and everything is in black and white, we tend to see the clear picture, it is how we stand, how we can dare to be weak and shed tears as a sign of strength, how we can give up everything for the truths our hearts whisper, how we can stay through the troubling worlds we got into and not have the nerve to run away, how we can tell somebody how we feel, and what we feel. It is in those darkest moments I am me and you are you. It is that moment we achieve the most worthy prize: our identity.

Dear Mirror.

I just thought you should know,

I am not afraid anymore

Happy Ending.

They are a thousand and one secrets out there,
they speak of tragedies to come,
and dreams to sweep you off your feet,
they will offer helping hands,
and suddenly leave you on your own,
but I promise you,
You will have a happy ending.

One second.

She whispered:
"Let's run away from here. Let's tell our hearts lies, and pretend our love is like the starry skies, smile our worries away for awhile, even if for one second. Let's pretend our souls are not torn and drown ourselves in the ocean of hope. Let's jump off the cliffs of misery. Let's pretend we are not afraid. Let's pretend when everything is over, you will never leave. Let's be everything, that we can never be.Even for just one second."

Who she is.

I wish I had beautiful things to say about the fairytale stories, where I played the princess, with my gorgeous dress, and a smile that would make anybody's heart stop. I wish I had those stories to tell, with happy endings, and perfect scenarios. But I'm just a kid, who believes she is destined to tragedy, who gazes at the sky every chance she gets, and hopes for a new beginning.No fairytale, no Shakespearean inspired exchange of words, just a kid with a pessimistic mind who sees nothing beautiful in someone stealing her heart away.

Forever

What if the world stopped spinning, and the stars no longer exploded in the dark night skies, would it be forever then?

Holding on

It is so hard to hold on,
Hold on to what belongs,
but nothing ever lasts,
not even the past.
Diving into the ocean of lies,
my heart flying into the gray skies,
holding on is so hard to do,
even if they are memories about you.

I wish.

I wish all the things I saw were beautiful.
I really do.
I can't explain.
telling you I'm falling,
is a regretful pain,
I'd rather say I'm flying.
simply so you could believe,
the beauty I see,
in those starry skies,
you like to whisper about.
when truly all I see is dark abyss.
Of nothingness.
I wish all things I saw were beautiful.
I really do.
Then maybe I could finally fall in love with you.

Regrets

Every word uttered.
Every note sang.
Every wish wished.
Every smile attained.
Every tear fallen.
Every dream relived.
Every love song strummed.
Every moment.
Regrets.

Insomniac

I am not an insomniac because I desire to be a night owl, or to gaze endlessly at the mysterious dark night, I am not an insomniac because I search for shooting stars to wish on, or to feel the chilly autumn breeze give me goose bumps, or avoid the eerie world of surrealistic tragic and bloody night terrors. The only reason I am an insomniac is because I fear the moment my head hits the pillow, my sweet lullaby would be the crystal drops that fall down my cheeks swiftly and silently, spewing liquid words of my heart's distraught.

Untitled...

As my fingers touch the piano keys,
I dream of a place past the stormy seas

Sometimes

Sometimes goodbyes sound like the night sky's silence,

sometimes dreams sound like impossibilities,

sometimes tears sound like common sense,

sometimes fears sound like your heart beat,

sometimes hope sounds like a poorly written song,

and sometimes pain sounds exactly like your voice.

Miracles

It takes one small glance,

to realize,

there are no miracles here,

just beautiful lies,

engraved in my heart,

spoken about in my eyes,

a story of pain and hurt.

Fix

I can scream

day in and day out

that I am breaking,

but you are too decieving to realize,

I need you to fix me

Change

The songs they never change,

now love seems so strange,

and the hearts are now torn,

and the tears never gone,

and saying goodbye,

is like telling a lie,

because the songs never change,

and the love will always be strange,

nothing will change.

Love

Love: Surprisingly it has began to exist,

in your eyes, in your words,

and in my heart...

Nothing

I am slowly disintergrating,

my mind disconstructing,

my heart breaking,

my soul falling,

into the darkness of nothing.

The Forgotten Runaway

The pain it sings,

it sings a song,

known to only

by the storytellers of long ago,

it involves a girl with broken hopes and dreams,

cradled by her unheard screams,

it spoke of how she waltzed with misery,

of how she sang along to treachery,

it excused her insane state of mind,

but one thing was left behind,

the story of her broken heart,

and how it could possibly have torn apart,

which was through only one certain way,

as written on the shadows of the forgotten runaway.

Disaster

The secret smiles,

the longing gazes,

the memorable moment,

at the most wonderful time,

the picture perfect beauty

of lowly love

the beautiful moon,
the silently peaceful night,
the perfect fairytale,

is so unreal,

Truly everyone knows,

as certain as the sun rises in the East

No one falls in love with a

tragic disaster

People Leave

People come and go,

no matter how close,

no matter how deep the footprint,

they all leave,

no matter how deep the cuts are,

no matter how beautiful it was,

People leave,

it is simply a human feat,

that we cannot understand ourselves,

And all we have left,

are dark empty rooms and beautiful memories

waltzing in our minds,

and the resonating tears of an aching heart,

people leave,

to makes those tears fade away

and I am prepared to let you go.

Falling Stars

The gracious rain glitters on my face.

the tears that fall come running in place,

the broken hearts seamed wrong,

the pain in our veins strong,

a tragedy plays,

in the brightest of days,

then the stars fall..

Happiness

You smoke up a storm

hoping everything would no longer be wrong,

your bloodshot eyes,

try to tell a lie.

your raspy voice sings a song,

about how everything was gone,

the sweet poison in your throat,

there is no stopping you,

in this dark pursuit

of happiness.

Innocence

The crisp morning,

the white linen dress,

flows through wind,

waltzing gracefully against the blue sky,

beautiful innocence,

the dark veiled night sky,

studded with shining stars,

the white linen dress,

flows through the wind,

waltzing shamefully against the starlit skies,

stained in crimson,

shame and despair awaits.

Funny things

The funny thing is that we may not know it, but we are somehow tearing hearts apart. The words, the lyrics, they ache with despair and quietened misery. Nostalgia drowns you, pain welcomes you, loneliness accompanies you. And the most hilarious thing is you see nothing, you are blinded by the supposed moral gift you are ever so welcome to give....when in essence it really is pain, nothing else but pain, and since was pain, a moral and a virtue, and with pain comes disappearance, of the loser of the battle.

It seems like I am the one losing.

Escape

When I whisper I am flying,

the truth is I am falling,

My heart is silently breaking,

with the smile I paste on with the art of faking,

My dreams come crashing through the floor,

when you walked out that door,

I tell you to escape,

this heart no longer has shape,

As its pieces crumble at your very sight,

giving away nothing is alright,

and that I lost the fight again,

as blood and tears of every shade,

refuse to fade,

and the dark blue waters of pain,

drown me again.

So escape,

before it is too late...

Closure

A state of mind were everything is perfect is what I strive for day in day out.I want one day to pass with my heart shattering into pieces, and trying to figure out how to glue it back together, and no matter how many times I try to fix it, it never seems to turn out like it used to be. I am awaiting that day where I do not contemplate shedding a tear, to relieve myself from this dizzying insanity of despair and insecurity. I wish for the day the walls I built so high, come crashing down because someone cared enough to tear it down. I dream of the day where all that I thought I did not deserve would suddenly be deserving of me.
But sadly enough, these are hopes, dreams and wishes and all tht is rested upon me is the burdening reality, and no matter how much you want to escape, at the end of the dy, I am back to gluing a broken heart together, tears stinging my eyes, and taunting words echoing in my ears and haunting my mind and nothing, rather no one deserves me, and a cry for help, a hope to be saved is possibly the most impossible resort in my book.
You simply cannnot change my world...
Some people are born with wings because they are meant to fly, others are born wingless because they are meant to fall..
It's my destiny and there is no point in altering it.

Stop my World

The living proof of complexity,

who wallows in painful reality,

in deserving obscurity,

a broken heart, worn by the cold,

a soul battered and old,

a dream not worthy to uphold.

A wishful dream of wings to fly,

to a land unbeknownst to lies,

and blissful solace to tragic goodbyes.

Undeserved

The dizzy sensation,

the complicated explanations,

Misery's expectations,

is my fateful destination,

I try to open my eyes,

and finally face those lies,

but why?

Why should I?

If all I will have are broken pieces,

and unrealistic wishes?

The story of the undeserved,

the pain and complications worthy to be deserved,

but the sunshine, the rain, and blissful romance,

and every other lovely stance,

undeserved.

Loved

Dear Friend,

Open your eyes and finally see,

no matter how many times you say it could not be,

it is real,

you just have to stop and feel it,

you are loved,

someone out there,

someone somewhere,

see their world as you,

and its incredibly true.

just open your eyes,

look past through your self conceived lies,

you are loved,

from down here and up above.

Loved.

Speak

You tell me to speak,

but I really can't,

you are the one who makes me weak,

and pain is something I no longer want,

you make me feel sick,

about who I am.

there is nothing more I could be,

but me,

and if I speak,

and tell you I am weak,

what would you say,

what would you tell me,

that everything would be okay,

that I am good enough as me,

well its called compromise,

and I think its a word disguised,

the word goes by the name:

lies.

Shadow

Stuck in the shadows,

lays a girl unknown,
unbeknownst to you,
unbeknownst to truth,
She holds your hand,
she helps you understand,
stuck in the shadows,
is a ghost of no frightful sort,
Oh no,
stuck in the shadows,
is a world that is yours..

Beautiful

Your eyes are like starlit skys,

with brilliance unrecognized,

perfection in its roughest form,

from a lovely soul to a heart so warm,

imperfection is all you see,

and that's the last word you could possibly be,

It's about time you realized,

despite the doubt hidden your eyes,

although you may not see its true,

to someone out there you are breathtakingly beautiful.

Words

Words
although made up of letters,

form a lethal weapon,
they destroy hearts,
they pollute souls,
they make us live in non existent worlds,
they tear down walls,
they sing us sweet lullabies,
they whisper swaying lies,
they prove love futile,
they prove love faithful,
they tear worlds apart,
Words,
the ultimate weapon of destruction...

Watch

Watch me break
into a million pieces,
watch me fall,
into the fiery pits of misery,
watch me live,
a life of darkening mystery
watch me learn,
that my life has no price,
watch me disintegrate,
to nothing worthy of your love and care,
watch me, just watch me,
try to put the pieces back together,
and immediately give up,
watch me trade my soul,
for the worth of a dirty copper penny.
Watch me, just watch me,
turn into nothing more.

Dreams

You seem to only be in my dreams nowadays,
nowhere else,
you whisper I love you in different ways,
perhaps you took my heart's place,
the tune to your heartbeat,
is the most beautiful lullaby,
swept of my feet,
you are the wings that help me fly,
You seem to only be in my dreams nowadays,
the words you write have no meaning,
as they tell a story of how you walk away,
without thinking,
You seem to only be in my dreams nowadays,
and I do not want you any other place...

Fairytale

Let's fly

Fly away

into a land far away,

where misery has no name,

and love is never the same,

Where dreams never flee,

and our souls set free,

Let's fly,

Fly away,

into the beautiful yesterday,

Into the oasis of mystery,

and rewrite our tragic story,

into something beautiful,

into a fairytale....

Rejection

That squelching feeling,

that makes purpose lose meaning,

the undeniable vulnerability,

the impatient insanity,

defies gravity,

as beautiful hopes and dreams

high up in the sky,

crush down into the earthly hopeless streams,

as they watch their hopes die,

with misery and loneliness,

tears and helplessness,

rejection,

the words scrawled impersonally on a letter,

telling you we could do better,

they apologize sweetly,

the words arranged neatly,

they defy gravity,

they drain all hopes and dreams,

they cause insanity,

drowned by my whispered screams.

Ugly Perfection

Its simply a human condition,

never realizing what sets their souls into motion,

Easily swayed by synthetic happy days,

thinking there is none but our way.

We never really see,

the true meaning of beauty,

Most definitely not in the eyes,

most definitely not in earthly lies

where a size zero,

guranteed a girl a charming "hero",

And beauty and brains,

was a combination entirely insane,

where a difference in appearance,

displayed society's role in unacceptance,

where little girls poison their minds on a weighing scale,

and little boys fancying girls sickly and frail,

The desire for perfection,

drowning the ideaology of the perfection in imperfection,

Its a human condition,

the desire for ugly perfection.

Starry Nights

A hand to hold,

The warmth in the cold,

the vanishing fear,

the sunshine's cheer,

the breathtaking smile,

the moments worthwhile,

the hearts that begin to race,

singing a song no words can replace,

A hope for no sorrow,

but simply a beautiful tomorrow,

A connection so strange,

so strong, nothing will change,

a hand to hold,

the warmth in the cold,

as the vanishing twilight

welcomes the starry night.

Monster

I am exhausted,
simply exhausted of me,
of who I turned out to be.
I fear who I am,
is not really Who I am meant to be.
Its no stage in life,
its a battle of strife,
the words I whisper poison,
it brings the breaking of hearts into motion.
Everything I touch withers away,
into a lethal world far away,
each note I sing,
a soul slowly dies away.
I finally see,
Who I could be,
nothing more than this monster,
silently latent within.