Happiness

You smoke up a storm

hoping everything would no longer be wrong,

your bloodshot eyes,

try to tell a lie.

your raspy voice sings a song,

about how everything was gone,

the sweet poison in your throat,

there is no stopping you,

in this dark pursuit

of happiness.

Innocence

The crisp morning,

the white linen dress,

flows through wind,

waltzing gracefully against the blue sky,

beautiful innocence,

the dark veiled night sky,

studded with shining stars,

the white linen dress,

flows through the wind,

waltzing shamefully against the starlit skies,

stained in crimson,

shame and despair awaits.

Funny things

The funny thing is that we may not know it, but we are somehow tearing hearts apart. The words, the lyrics, they ache with despair and quietened misery. Nostalgia drowns you, pain welcomes you, loneliness accompanies you. And the most hilarious thing is you see nothing, you are blinded by the supposed moral gift you are ever so welcome to give....when in essence it really is pain, nothing else but pain, and since was pain, a moral and a virtue, and with pain comes disappearance, of the loser of the battle.

It seems like I am the one losing.

Escape

When I whisper I am flying,

the truth is I am falling,

My heart is silently breaking,

with the smile I paste on with the art of faking,

My dreams come crashing through the floor,

when you walked out that door,

I tell you to escape,

this heart no longer has shape,

As its pieces crumble at your very sight,

giving away nothing is alright,

and that I lost the fight again,

as blood and tears of every shade,

refuse to fade,

and the dark blue waters of pain,

drown me again.

So escape,

before it is too late...

Closure

A state of mind were everything is perfect is what I strive for day in day out.I want one day to pass with my heart shattering into pieces, and trying to figure out how to glue it back together, and no matter how many times I try to fix it, it never seems to turn out like it used to be. I am awaiting that day where I do not contemplate shedding a tear, to relieve myself from this dizzying insanity of despair and insecurity. I wish for the day the walls I built so high, come crashing down because someone cared enough to tear it down. I dream of the day where all that I thought I did not deserve would suddenly be deserving of me.
But sadly enough, these are hopes, dreams and wishes and all tht is rested upon me is the burdening reality, and no matter how much you want to escape, at the end of the dy, I am back to gluing a broken heart together, tears stinging my eyes, and taunting words echoing in my ears and haunting my mind and nothing, rather no one deserves me, and a cry for help, a hope to be saved is possibly the most impossible resort in my book.
You simply cannnot change my world...
Some people are born with wings because they are meant to fly, others are born wingless because they are meant to fall..
It's my destiny and there is no point in altering it.

Stop my World

The living proof of complexity,

who wallows in painful reality,

in deserving obscurity,

a broken heart, worn by the cold,

a soul battered and old,

a dream not worthy to uphold.

A wishful dream of wings to fly,

to a land unbeknownst to lies,

and blissful solace to tragic goodbyes.

Undeserved

The dizzy sensation,

the complicated explanations,

Misery's expectations,

is my fateful destination,

I try to open my eyes,

and finally face those lies,

but why?

Why should I?

If all I will have are broken pieces,

and unrealistic wishes?

The story of the undeserved,

the pain and complications worthy to be deserved,

but the sunshine, the rain, and blissful romance,

and every other lovely stance,

undeserved.

Loved

Dear Friend,

Open your eyes and finally see,

no matter how many times you say it could not be,

it is real,

you just have to stop and feel it,

you are loved,

someone out there,

someone somewhere,

see their world as you,

and its incredibly true.

just open your eyes,

look past through your self conceived lies,

you are loved,

from down here and up above.

Loved.

Speak

You tell me to speak,

but I really can't,

you are the one who makes me weak,

and pain is something I no longer want,

you make me feel sick,

about who I am.

there is nothing more I could be,

but me,

and if I speak,

and tell you I am weak,

what would you say,

what would you tell me,

that everything would be okay,

that I am good enough as me,

well its called compromise,

and I think its a word disguised,

the word goes by the name:

lies.

Shadow

Stuck in the shadows,

lays a girl unknown,
unbeknownst to you,
unbeknownst to truth,
She holds your hand,
she helps you understand,
stuck in the shadows,
is a ghost of no frightful sort,
Oh no,
stuck in the shadows,
is a world that is yours..

Beautiful

Your eyes are like starlit skys,

with brilliance unrecognized,

perfection in its roughest form,

from a lovely soul to a heart so warm,

imperfection is all you see,

and that's the last word you could possibly be,

It's about time you realized,

despite the doubt hidden your eyes,

although you may not see its true,

to someone out there you are breathtakingly beautiful.

Words

Words
although made up of letters,

form a lethal weapon,
they destroy hearts,
they pollute souls,
they make us live in non existent worlds,
they tear down walls,
they sing us sweet lullabies,
they whisper swaying lies,
they prove love futile,
they prove love faithful,
they tear worlds apart,
Words,
the ultimate weapon of destruction...

Watch

Watch me break
into a million pieces,
watch me fall,
into the fiery pits of misery,
watch me live,
a life of darkening mystery
watch me learn,
that my life has no price,
watch me disintegrate,
to nothing worthy of your love and care,
watch me, just watch me,
try to put the pieces back together,
and immediately give up,
watch me trade my soul,
for the worth of a dirty copper penny.
Watch me, just watch me,
turn into nothing more.

Dreams

You seem to only be in my dreams nowadays,
nowhere else,
you whisper I love you in different ways,
perhaps you took my heart's place,
the tune to your heartbeat,
is the most beautiful lullaby,
swept of my feet,
you are the wings that help me fly,
You seem to only be in my dreams nowadays,
the words you write have no meaning,
as they tell a story of how you walk away,
without thinking,
You seem to only be in my dreams nowadays,
and I do not want you any other place...

Fairytale

Let's fly

Fly away

into a land far away,

where misery has no name,

and love is never the same,

Where dreams never flee,

and our souls set free,

Let's fly,

Fly away,

into the beautiful yesterday,

Into the oasis of mystery,

and rewrite our tragic story,

into something beautiful,

into a fairytale....

Rejection

That squelching feeling,

that makes purpose lose meaning,

the undeniable vulnerability,

the impatient insanity,

defies gravity,

as beautiful hopes and dreams

high up in the sky,

crush down into the earthly hopeless streams,

as they watch their hopes die,

with misery and loneliness,

tears and helplessness,

rejection,

the words scrawled impersonally on a letter,

telling you we could do better,

they apologize sweetly,

the words arranged neatly,

they defy gravity,

they drain all hopes and dreams,

they cause insanity,

drowned by my whispered screams.

Ugly Perfection

Its simply a human condition,

never realizing what sets their souls into motion,

Easily swayed by synthetic happy days,

thinking there is none but our way.

We never really see,

the true meaning of beauty,

Most definitely not in the eyes,

most definitely not in earthly lies

where a size zero,

guranteed a girl a charming "hero",

And beauty and brains,

was a combination entirely insane,

where a difference in appearance,

displayed society's role in unacceptance,

where little girls poison their minds on a weighing scale,

and little boys fancying girls sickly and frail,

The desire for perfection,

drowning the ideaology of the perfection in imperfection,

Its a human condition,

the desire for ugly perfection.

Starry Nights

A hand to hold,

The warmth in the cold,

the vanishing fear,

the sunshine's cheer,

the breathtaking smile,

the moments worthwhile,

the hearts that begin to race,

singing a song no words can replace,

A hope for no sorrow,

but simply a beautiful tomorrow,

A connection so strange,

so strong, nothing will change,

a hand to hold,

the warmth in the cold,

as the vanishing twilight

welcomes the starry night.

Monster

I am exhausted,
simply exhausted of me,
of who I turned out to be.
I fear who I am,
is not really Who I am meant to be.
Its no stage in life,
its a battle of strife,
the words I whisper poison,
it brings the breaking of hearts into motion.
Everything I touch withers away,
into a lethal world far away,
each note I sing,
a soul slowly dies away.
I finally see,
Who I could be,
nothing more than this monster,
silently latent within.

Time

Time,
is a precious entity,
An unprecedented liability,
A broken reality,
A miracle waiting to not happen,
Probably romance in different versions,
Dreams we wish upon a star,
Some common, others bizarre,
time an unspoken value,
sometimes holds you,
other times breaks your heart in two.
Time,
A song that simply cannot rhyme,
its tune of different themes,
about different things.
Time,
It fixes the broken,
It gives a voice to the unspoken,
Time,
Possibly yours,
Absolutely not mine.

Fear

I am afraid.

Afraid of the way tomorrow is unknown.

Afraid at the fact that everything could fall apart.

Afraid that who I am is never enough.

Afraid of never hearing your voice.

Afraid that I will never fall into it again.

Afraid that what I can be is not me.

Afraid.

I am afraid of fear.

Imagine

Imagine, is what you say,

Imagine the perfect day,

Where hope is a one way street,

and the Music of Life was never off beat.

Imagine the beautiful side of reality,

with fairytale like insanity.

The Voice Left Behind

The stories it used to tell,
Of me and you,
of everything being well,
when we whispered I love you,
with no fears and nonchalance,
it was heaven away from hell,
waltzing a beautiful love dance.

Its whispers are now gone,
my heart all alone,
the heart wrenching pain
driving me insane,
Its songs are no more,
they went right out the door,
breaking hearts in half, tearing up my mind
the voice left behind

The missing puzzle pieces,
Of yesterday's before,
are what my heart truly misses
Not realizing the pain in store
My soul screams your name
Hoping it will be the same,
Its finally coming alive
ready to take the dive.